You have found an amazing partner and your relationship is going great. The two of you have even started to throw wedding talk into your conversations. You may have been together for many years, or only a short period of time, but you know you have found “the one”. Deciding you are ready to propose to someone is exciting and exhilarating, but also nerve wracking. I mean, marriage is a huge deal, and not something you want to rush into until you are confident in your decision. Knowing some signs that you are ready to propose may help you decide when to take the leap.
You love them just the way they are.
Do you love your partner not only when they are happy and having fun, but when they are sad, stressed, angry or hurt? Do you love them even though they are messy and never fold their laundry? Do you love them even though they are imperfect and have annoying quirks? Some people go into marriage expecting that their partner is going to somehow magically change overnight. People don’t change just because they get married, so make sure that you love and accept your partner the way they are now.
You are ready to commit.
Some relationships don’t end in marriage, not because the love wasn’t real, but because one or both partners didn’t feel ready to commit. Maybe you wanted to concentrate on your career and didn’t have the time to put towards your relationship. Maybe you weren’t sure what you wanted and decided to go backpacking across Asia to figure it out. When you are ready to commit you won’t want to put your career before your personal life, and won’t worry that there may be other fish in the sea. You will feel ready to jump in with all your heart.
Your friends and family support your decision.
It is important that you have the support of loved ones behind your decision. It makes life a lot easier when your family and friends accept and like your partner. This is especially important for very tight-knit families who spend a lot of time together, as your future spouse is going to become a part of the family. Also, it is a good sign when the people who know you best accept your choice. That being said, there are people who have married someone that their friends or family disapproved of, and they have gone on to have great marriages. While it is important to take into consideration the reasons your loved ones might disapprove, in the end you must make the decision that is best for you.
You have discussed children.
It is important to know how your partner feels about having children. Do they want them? How many? How soon do they want to start trying? And it is important to discuss what would happen if you were unable to have children. Would you try fertility treatments or look into surrogacy or adoption? Would they be ok if you never had any children? It’s necessary to have these conversations before you get married so that you are aware of your partner’s expectations and don’t run into conflicts in the future.
You can live together.
Going on romantic dates every Saturday night is a whole lot different than actually living with someone. Are you ok hanging out during the mundane moments of life, running errands, doing laundry, cooking dinner, or doing the dishes? Can you live with a messy person if you are a neat freak? Can you sleep in the same bed with a night hawk if you are an early riser? Will you be a team player and make compromises and try to make life comfortable for both of you? If the answer is yes, then you are on the right path.
You have discussed finances.
Yes, talking about money can make people uncomfortable, but if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you need to know the facts. Is one person in heavy debt while the other has been saving for years? Do you want to make a joint account or keep things separate? Does one person make more money and therefore will need to take on more financial responsibility in the marriage? These conversations can be awkward, but money is one of the biggest causes of stress within a marriage, so it is good to deal with any potential issues before you get engaged.
You can’t imagine life without them.
This is an important one. If you can’t picture yourself in the future without your partner by your side, it’s a good sign that you are with the right person. Go past the excitement of your wedding day and look further down the road. Is this the person who you want to go through all the ups and downs of life with? Do you see yourselves growing old side by side? If the answer is yes, then you probably don’t need any more signs.
Knowing that you are ready to propose ultimately comes from within you and shouldn’t be influenced by how long you have been dating, or if all your friends are getting engaged. It’s one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life, and one you want to make for all the right reasons. And when you are ready make sure to jump in with both feet, because it’s going to be the adventure of a lifetime!
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